"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
