Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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