don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
