So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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