The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
