I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
