It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
