Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
