But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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