Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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