i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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