had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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