He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
