I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
