Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
