3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
