he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
pray to the hookup gods
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
