it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
