so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
