the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
