Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
