I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
