He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
