Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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