It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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