It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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