he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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