so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
