I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Send help, water and tortillas.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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