its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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