I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
