She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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