Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
