She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
