no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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