shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
