My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
