What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
is wine microwaveable?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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