...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
