I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
