Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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