whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
