Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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