I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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