You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
