community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize