I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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