your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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