We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
