I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
