worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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