so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
