this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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