his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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