Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I made him laugh his dick is mine
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
