OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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