If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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