But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
