Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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