I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the condom got lost in my hair
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
