Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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