either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
